Thursday 27 February 2014

'This behaviour is insulting to women!!!

You have no idea how hard it is to be a real woman'

I read a lot of CD/TV related forums. Some of them encourage the significant-others of crossdressers to post and discuss. Many GG's who aren't married to, or in a relationship with a crossdresser adopt the position of, 
"I think a person should be able to do whatever makes them happy", and that's generally because they don't have to live with the complexity of dating/marrying a CD.
And I can understand that, it can't be easy.
However, I'm not sure that gives free license to the significant others of CDs/TVs/TSs to pass comments similar to my opening for this entry.
 Don't worry this isn't where I do a mental U-turn and start coming out with crap like,
"Of course we know how hard it is, part of us is/I am a girl inside"... As I have seen many of my comrades doing. Why don't you know?
Because you haven't suffered period pains, or child birth, nor will you ever experience those things.

One-Nil to the genetic girls.
Some of the transgendered community, if passable enough, may experience some of the following;

-Groping by drunk men on a night out.
-Sexual discrimination in the workplace and elsewhere. On average in the UK, women still earn 10% less than their male counterparts (where in unregulated salary environments)
-People assuming you are in some way inferior to men.
-You'll always just be a slut, never 'the great conqueror' that men get to be.

All of the above make the assumption that you are active in the 'real' world, that you live and breathe, eat and sleep as a woman. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 365 days a year.
Okay, that's fine I guess. So Transexual women share many of the difficulties of being a girl as the genetic females in the world do.


But Samantha, you're a crossdresser who has never left the house. 
Why are you blogging about something you have no idea about?


Well, it's funny you should ask.
Because I happen to know a thing or two myself.
I might not go out, but I freely upload pictures of my 'successes' with makeup, clothing and all that other stuff that goes along with it. As a result of this, I'm also painfully aware of just how lecherous, perverted and downright rude men can be when gifted with anonymity and a webcam to have a wank on.
 

My insights into what it takes to 'present' as a female allow me to provide a little empathy to my own girlfriend when she is getting ready to go out. I know how long this shit takes and I know how hard it is.
 

Here are my nuggets of wisdom based upon my favourite things, coupled with rant-ology and observational wit that will leave you begging for mercy. If you're a mad man... er, woman.

1- Clothes and Shoes.
Where do I start. I know why girls buy so many, why they take so long to shop, why they take so long to pick out an outfit... It's because women's clothes are awesome to a level not conceivable by most men (the ones who don't cross dress anyhow).
Girls get all the nice cloths and fabrics, all the colours of the rainbow, in myriad styles and shapes for every imaginable occasion. Girls get all the nice underwear, for all the same reasons as above. Then there's the tights that suit all occasions from plain old sheer tan to multi-coloured lace ones with crazy patterns on and everything in between.
You can literally transform a dress you went to work in, into a sexy night number with nothing more than a change of shoes, a clutch bag and some extra eye makeup.

If a man tried a night out in what he worked in, he would get called a dirty [expletive].
And my god, it is just the end of the world when you put weight on and your favorite jeans don't fit. Never happens with shoes though. Lovely shoes.
Oh the shoes. If New Look made size UK 11, I do believe I would run out of space in my house within a year. And again, it's all the options that are thrown at you, to tempt you.
What kind of leather do you want? Or do you want synthetics? Suede or satin?

 Mary Jane or ankle strap?
Or no strap? Perhaps just straps? Or just ribbons or lacing? Shoe-boots or knee-highs? Thigh highs (easy tiger)?
4,5,6 or 7 inch heel? Wedge, chunky, stiletto or flat? Do you want them adorned in spikey studs or chunky glitter flakes? 

Oh, you want the sole to be red? That'll be £1535 please madam.
Oh, you got the 6 inchers? They're very sexy, now stand in them for more than an hour.
Go on, I dare ya!

I know, they're all bloody brilliant.
All of the above applies to jewelery, bags and pretty much any other accessory you care to think of at home. They're financial headlights, and we're the rabbits.

2-Make-up.
I love it. Even I manage to end up looking good with a face full of this stuff, its like Photoshop in real life.
Takes hours to learn and years to master, it's difficult to do, but that's like anything that's worth doing. I've been using it for about 4 years intermittently ie not every day.
I think I'm just about getting the hang of it.

But there's a few things that grind my gears about it too.

-There's nothing worse than coming home with your usual foundation shade to find that for whatever reason, its now to light or too dark for your skin. You either end up looking anaemic or like you did a Ross Geller...



-Wing edges with your eyeliner. Show me a girl, genetic or trans, who can do this perfectly, symmetrically, without the use of tape or device, on the first attempt for 3 days on the run...
And I will show you a witch.
This brings me to my next point...

-Getting liquid eyeliner wrong, getting mascara on your eyelid, eyeshadow dust on your cheek or lip liner on your face.
When this happens... F**k the world. I'm done.


-Who decided to put hair magnet dust in lip-gloss anyway?

3-Nails.
I cant grow mine. They're thin and I've bitten for years, so they're all but ruined.
I use falsies that I glue on. (Top tip - you can re-use them, and you can paint up multiple sets while they're not on your hands, no mess, no worrying about "Are they dry yet" you just set them to one side and carry on with your day).
But I do know about what it's like to cope with long nails.
Like laddering tights because you missed a snagger with your nail file.
Like how smart phones and regular typing become exercises in precision and dexterity.

Like doing anything and everything to protect them. Like they are your babies, god fobid the polish should chip off, or worse still, one might break... You know it's going to be sore.
Like needing help to wear/remove sprung-hooked jewelery.

Like opening a can of drink with a teaspoon handle to avoid breakage.

Yes, I've been there.

4-Shaving.
Gents. Think about your face for a second. Your ugly stubbly face.
How long does it take you to have a really close shave, with the grain, then against the grain? 10? 15 minutes?

Okay, now think about that when you need to shave 5-8 times that surface area.
When girls are in the bath for ages, don't complain, it's necessary. It's not indulgence unless they lit a candle and took wine in there with them.

Now consider your really close shave on your face followed by your chest, armpits, pelvis, legs and any other random places required to be silky smooth.
That's our shaving there.

5-Perfume. 
Beautiful stuff, there is something for everyone out there.
Just don't spray it in your mouth. That's what I call a 'Pro Tip'.


My concluding point is short today, because the message I want to give is simple.
Ladies reading this, and I mean the genetically female, married/in relationship ones. 

If you ever learn your husband/significant other is a crossdresser, before you add yourself to the countless women who have uttered similar statements to the ones I opened shop with,  please consider he may be the most empathic, sensitive man you ever encounter in three lifetimes. He knows some of what you go through on a daily basis. Embrace it, try not to fear it. He can sympathise with the pains of woman-hood to a degree that most men never will.
I'm not going to spout advice about how to resolve other differences, but crossdressing is not what the church says it is, or what society says it is, or what your best friend from university says it is....
Its what the crossdresser says it is.
Listen to him, because he will listen to you.

Thanks for reading peoples.

Let me hear your thoughts in the comments below and don't forget to follow me!
Love ya lots
Samantha xxx





Tuesday 18 February 2014

Pics or GTFO

Being taken seriously online.

Okay so here's something that 'normal' (not cross-dressers or trans.) folks wont really be familiar with. However withing the niche corner of the interwebs there is a strange phenomenon occurring on a daily basis.
I never really see it happening to 'normal' (I keep using the commas around 'normal' don't I. I'll stop it, lets just pretend, there is such a thing as normal.) people unless they were pushed while taking the photograph.

Ladies, gentlemen and all in between, just £2 a month could help cross-dressers, the world over, to learn how to aim a camera. The world is being denied their beautiful faces because of a lack of proper training about the highly technical operation of today's modern digital cameras.
They spend so much time trying to work the thing, they forget to aim it.
After all the time this person spent stealing their wives clothes, we don't get to see what must be a makeup masterpiece. Well it must be, because everything else about the picture just screams 'perfection'.



The uninitiated may laugh at this.
And they would be right to.
Why would anyone do this?
Well I've asked this question before in numerous forums, message boards and chat rooms, not only does it create a lot of hostility. A real lot. But all I get in response is a resounding
"To protect my identity".
The uninitiated may think this is fine.
And they would be somewhat wrong to.

Let me put it to you like this.
You (a crossdressing male) post an image of yourself in your feminine finest on the internet. On a site designed for members of the trans community to congregate and discuss matters, post pictures, shoot the breeze and whatnot.
Then someone you know (a normal) finds a picture that they recognise to be you, in your feminine finest.
Who are they going to tell? Really?
How and why did they find this picture? What were they looking at?
That's a lot of explaining for them to sort out.

I've also asked this question in response to the "To protect my identity" crowd.
And all I get is,
"Well that should be up to me whether or not I choose to put pictures of my face online".
And while I agree with that, I also hate it.
It seems like a reasonable thing to say, but online, communication is already difficult as much of the time is spent communicating in text. So tone, body language, facial expression are all lost.
Wouldn't it be nicer if there was a human face to assign to the words on screen, to ease the dry clinical nature of pure text.?

[Photo previously here, removed at the request of the owner - 
Photograph was of crossdressed male with face scribbled out]

Is it just me or is that just outright disturbing?
A picture with the face scribbled out. Don't they use this a lot in horror films?
I digress.

I commit a decent proportion of my income and free time to making myself look... Not good, but reasonable. And while I may never pass, in my head at least, I manage to pull off femininity fairly well. I make no issue of covering my face or just straight cropping my head off, I just post what turns out at the end of my work, and that's what you get.
If there is an edited picture of me, you generally will know about it because it has a stupid title like
#allthefilters, which spell checkers just love.




And then there are people who just cut out all of the work entirely and just lie, steal the pictures from elsewhere. To me, this is just misrepresentation bordering on fraud.

It's difficult online to get yourself across in the manner wish, mainly for the reasons I listed earlier.
In my opinion it's made harder by people who do not share my level of presentation standards who wish to try and be my bestie with a gallery full of fake, manipulated, poor quality or lack of pictures of themselves.
Words mean little on the internet, anyone can write anything they wish.
Pictures go a long way with me. If you're smart enough and not deluded, I would advise you to be of the same mind. Video calls are even better, because it's pretty hard to photoshop a live video feed to make someone look skinny. But that's another matter.

I guess what I'm getting at, for normal folks and crossdressers, is how can you really expect anyone to take you seriously online if you post no pictures of yourself?
And I mean recent, high resolution, well lit pictures.
Ones that you haven't conveniently edited to remove some hideous flaw. If there is a hideous flaw, work on it before you hit the shutter button, not after. Learn to use makeup, buy a good wig.
Even just having a shave FFS - If this is you, sort it out. It's like crossdressing 101 up in here.
Lesson 1 - SHAVE!
Just be honest with people, it's surprising what you will achieve.
That's today's rant complete.
I wish you all the very best.

Thanks for reading, let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and don'f forget to hit that button and follow the blog!!

Love ya lots
Samantha xxx




Friday 14 February 2014

LOOK AT ME!!!!

Hello again my wonderful readers

All 5 of you

I've just been reading a page on how to get your blog noticed.
I know, I know, that will read to most of you as "Look at me, look at me!! PLEASE FUCKING LOOK AT ME", well I gotta tell ya, I could do with some page views.


The content of the a fore mentioned page was pretty simple really.
It would seem that a good blog is consistently posted to, relevant in it's content, diverse in its content, pleasing to the reader but also questions their own thoughts and values. It is eye catching and well reviewed by it's target audience.
So I got thinking, what on earth could be relevant to all of the above?

Then it hit me. Boobs. That's right, shirt mellons, fun bags, lady lumps and bongos.
The obvious problem, to most of the people I assume who are reading this, is men don't have their own boobies. No, no they do not.
 But if like me you take great pride in your finished appearance when dressing, then it' sometimes nice to have the illusion of boobs. If only for the fun of looking down and thinking,
"I don't remember those being there before".
Look at me, I say. Massage my feminine alter ego.... er..... ego. Crossdressers pull a lot of shit to get people to look at them. Bum, cock, bollocks, objects up their chuff, all to get people to shower them with compliments until they are drenched. But in my opinion, nothing says look at me like some nice, realistic looking boobs, so here, have a few from my flicker feed and then I'll show you how it's done...





Don't I look lovely?

Now, if you're wondering how to do this, you really only had to look on the interwebs.
This information is readily available to any gurl or other who wishes to seek it out.
With this said I'm going to show you a drag queen's video of the technique I use.





This is not, I repeat, not, the tape I use on my skin.
Duck tape is horrid stuff. It's industrial grade adhesive, it can irritate your skin, cause reactions and leave it very dry afterwards.
My recommendation is this stuff 3M Transpore Tape 5cm width
Medical grade adhesives, hypoalergenic, you need to use a bit more than duck tape, but when you remove it, you will thank me.

To further this illusion, for instance if you have very little 'spare' skin on your chest, you can try a bit of makeup, just don't go overboard. How to do this?
Don't worry, Samantha has you covered there to...


Now you know, it's really very easy.
And as for you genetic girls out there with little lumps, just remember who taught you to do this,
It's okay.
You're welcome.
You're all welcome


-x-

Tuesday 11 February 2014

Death to the 'Tranny'...

Hello.
What an entrance to the world of 'blogging'.
'Hello'.... Is that all I'm capable of?

Well it'll do for now.

For the purpose of writing this Blog, my name is Samantha, although that's really only a name used online and with other friends whom also divulge in an activity as I do.
I'm choosing to with-hold my 'IRL' name for the sake of privacy and social standing.

You see, this activity is not one that many of us chose at any point, it's just hard wired in, and despite early efforts of repression, it just wont un-wire. Given that I was driven to do something normally considered taboo at the young age of 13 (now 31 - When did that happen) I began to consider that I was mentally ill.
"This isn't normal", I thought, none of my friends spoke of doing this when I was in high school, college or university. Whenever the subject was brought up, it was usually in ridicule and seeming hatred of it.
So I kept quiet until I got the internet, and realised, I was not the only one.


No, it's not the seedy underworld of pigeon racing.
Nor is it the thrill a minute, white knuckle ride that is train spotting.



This, my dear readers is the land of Cross-Dressing.

It goes by many labels, and the level of appropriation and respect vary wildly.

These are just a few;
-Cross-Dressing/Cross-Dresser (CD), 
-Transvestism/Transvestite (TV), 
(Both of the above are essentially banner terms for 'Man wears womens clothes' for whatever reason they specify. Although, from personal observation, it is becoming common for men who wear only female attire to self refer as Transvestite, and those whom only 'dress' occasionally self refer as CrossDressers, but this is not always the case).
-Autogynephillia/Autogynephille (Arousal in men from the thought or sight of themselves as a woman). 
-Transvestic Fetishist (Wears clothes of the opposite gender for the sole purpose of reaching sexual climax, whether alone or with a partner).
-Sissy (Wears clothes made of satin or silk, usually lots of ruffles, sometimes blurs the lines with the adult baby crew - I've never understood sissies. This is not to say they are bad, but y'know live 'n' let live. It just isn't for me. But who doesn't love satin?)
-Tranny. I'm sure you're all familiar with this word.


The very fact that you're familiar with this word saddens me. 
Not least because it just sounds vile, like you could spit it in hatred with a Scouse accent (not sure why I imagine a Scouse accent), but because it demonstrates very little understanding of the Transgender field (not that we can expect bigots to be well educated), and creates this idea that we're (All under the trans. umbrella) are the same.
I mean yeah, we're all the same if you want go deep and get philosophical with some patchouli burning on the table, but we're not the same.


You will note that 'Transexual' does not appear in my list of labels above, this is with good reason. Crossdressers and Transexual women have nothing  in common.
(I do get along quite nicely with a transexual lady from New Jersey though).


Aside from the facts of - Genetic male wears clothes for females.
End of discussion.

If, during your lifetime you were lead to believe that all men who wear women's clothes are the same or do it for the same reasons, you are sadly mistaken.
I am a Cross Dresser.

I however am not;
-Transexual
-Homosexual
-Fetishistic
-Autogynephillic
-Planning on surgery
-Likely to go to Asda dressed in my new leopard print scuba skirt and black peplum top with those lovely black patent 5" heels.

All of us in this umbrella of trans. (Sounds like a dutch techno collective) are different.
We are here for different reasons.
But like everyone within the LGBT community, it's 99.9% likely we did not choose this.
We didn't want the hiding, the denial, the lies or the fear.
We just wanted to be who we are without repression.
We aren't harming anyone, unless that's your kind of thing and you have a safety word.

So how about we spread the word let's kill the 'tranny'.

Do you agree? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments below, and don't forget to follow me for more!

Love ya lots
Samantha xxx